Mark Muldez

Posts tagged grace


Editor’s Note: I’ve received countless emails, messages and questions regarding about lust, porn and masturbation. I’ve had my tumblr since November of 2011 and I think it’s time that I write something about this very touchy and sensitive topic. What you’re about to read are things that I’ve learned in the past as I wrestled and struggled with this sin. These are things I’ve learned either from different people, from different books, and from God through His word and His Holy Spirit. I understand that every single guy and gal are on a different journey with this sin. So I’m not saying that what I  write on this entry is what you should do, rather the purpose of this blog entry is to encourage, empower, and enlighten others as to how to face this battle and come out victorious through Jesus Christ. My desire and prayer is that you would find encouragement, wisdom, knowledge and hope that there’s an answer and a solution. I can testify to that for I am a living testimony. There’s victory over this struggle and the answer lies in Jesus Christ and I pray that you would see that through this blog entry. Let’s get started shall we? :)

I was first exposed to porn when I was a little kid. I can’t remember exactly how old I was but I remember I was really young. How? It might’ve been when I was at my friends house and his parents weren’t home and we thought it was a good idea to mess around with his parents movie. I’m not sure how and where exactly I got my eyes exposed to porn but I was young. 
From that point I just started watching porn and it became a routine and I didn’t think it was wrong. I wasn’t a Christian either so I thought it was natural for guys to watch and masturbate. Little did I know that my foolish choices at that time was going to affect me when I became a Christian. 
At the age of 15 I gave my life to Christ. I still remember coming home from that youth conference and just feeling so fired up! God now gave me new eyes, new mind, new heart and new life. I knew that any lustful activity just needs to stop because the bible tells me so and it’s wrong. I was on a good streak and I lasted at least 3-6 months of not watching, not doing. But something went wrong. All of a sudden the whole “I’m not suppose to do this because it’s wrong and the bible says it’s wrong” no longer held any weight or power to stop me from succumbing to a lustful heart and this is where my battle with lust started. I remember hearing a good message and thought to myself, “Man, that message was so convicting, God I will never do go back to those lustful things. I’m done.” Or meet with my accountability partner and have a long “prayer session” and after that I would feel good. Or set up all these rules of do’s and don’ts but at the end of all these things I’ve mentioned, I would end up doing the very same thing I hate doing. Can you relate to my story? I’m sure most of you can if not all. So what is wrong exactly? What is lust? And if you’re struggling with lust and any other forms of lustful activity how do you fight it? What do you do? 
First you have to know that SEXDRIVE and Sexual Desire isn’t the problem nor the issue, LUST is. SEX isn’t the answer or the solution to your LUST problem, Jesus is. God created you and me with sexual desires and drives to be with someone. But the enemy twisted the truth about our sexuality through Lust. Lust is craving sexually what God has forbidden.To Lust is to go beyond attraction, appreciation of beauty or a healthy desire for sex. It is very self-centered and selfish and it makes these desires more important than God. 
I mentioned earlier that in the past I’ve failed spectacularly in the area of lust even though I heard a powerful message, or met with my partners or even got rid of ‘stuff’ I found myself going back to the same patterns. Why? mainly because I’ve held the wrong standard for holiness. The wrong source of power to chance. And the wrong motive for fighting sin. My ideas and thoughts about being holy was completely twisted. I thought If I don’t watch/look at porn or masturbate for certain amount of time I’m doing pretty good. I thought I can rely solely on my partners and I’ll be fine. And I thought setting down some strict legalistic rules will help me stay on my toes I was wrong. 
But the main reason why we pursue holiness and choose to deny lust along with it’s other forms is because of this: God created us for so much more. He designed us to be satisfied with Him and to translate that satisfaction and pleasure to someone through sex in marriage. He isn’t withholding our sex drives by not watching or masturbating, rather He is saving us for a life filled with love, joy, peace and satisfaction. He is saving us for something so much better. Yes it’s not easy and it’s a fight and a sacrifice but in the end it’s worth it.
 As Christians we need to remember that nothing that we can do or add to make us justified before Him, Christ did all the justification. Not watching porn, or masturbating isn’t gonna add up a ‘points’ to God, or make us more worthy, rather it’s sanctifying us and leading us towards a life of holiness and purity. 
If we understand this truth about how we stand in Christ, all of a sudden our motives and hearts towards lust changes from “I’m not gonna do it coz it’s wrong” to “I’m not gonna do it because I don’t wanna break my Father’s heart.” That’s a huge difference. The other one is motivated by legalism and will power and the other one is motivated by love and grace. God’s standard of holiness is radical. Ephesians 5:3 says this:

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity.. because these are improper for God’s holy people.

God’s standard of holiness is this: Not even a hint! - That means if you struggle with lust then get rid any kind of triggering factors that encourages you to fall into that sin. If that means you need to get rid of your TV in your room, have your parents/spouse/friends create a password for your computer, throw away any provocative magazines that come to your mail, refrain from any movie that most likely have sensual sin, ANYTHING. Get rid of it, stay away from it, Not even a hint. 
So does that mean we can’t look at the opposite sex coz we fear of committing lust? No. Of course not. Truth is, it is not lust when we find someone to be so attractive, to have a strong desire for sex, to be excited about sex within marriage, to experience sexual temptation. It only becomes lust and sinful when we go past those things I’ve mentioned above. It is important to distinguish these things and to know what’s lust and what’s not. What’s natural and what’s sinful. it’s not about approaching your sin in a legalistic way, but instead it’s about being obedient to God and being good stewards of the life and the body He has given us. Now what, how do you exactly face and fight this battle? What do you and how do you prepare yourself when Satan comes at you prowling like a lion ready to deceive you? Identify any lust trigger factors. There are numbers of factors that can trigger you. And when you identify these factors it will help you better equip and prepare yourself. 

Time of day- Is it at night, after work, when you’re tired etc.
Locations- could be alone in your room, friends house, etc.
TV- be responsible on what you feed your eyes.
Books/Newspapers/Magazines- Be radical about what your read.
Music- Be mindful about the songs you listen to.
Internet - this is obvious.
People/relationship- are you in a healthy & godly relationship or not?

Now that you have your list, pray and ask God to give you solid brothers/sisters to help you in this fight. People who would be genuine about your struggle and will faithfully strengthen and build you up. You can have all these lists but unless you genuinely repent from this sin and have strong hatred towards this sin and a strong and burning desire to be victorious in this area, nothing will happen. Unless you  seek friend and get someone to keep you accountable and really take action, you will only find yourself stumbling over and over again. You weren’t meant to fight your battles all by yourself. Jesus sent his disciples always in pairs that means we are meant to work with people and encourage others in our walk.
I have to say one thing though, accountability is great but you have to set your mind and heart on the right place with this. In the past I’m afraid to act on my sin because I don’t wanna disappoint my partner or I want to have a ‘good thing’ to say whenever we meet. This is a wrong mindset. Accountability isn’t meant for that. It’s about partnering, walking, and encouraging the other person not relying. At the end of the day you rely on Jesus’ grace & love and His Spirit to empower you and strengthen you daily. 
In my own experience and walk, here’s some really practical ways to develop and cultivate a godly lifestyle:

Spend time with God through prayer, reading His word and worship. - Pick a book in the bible. Start your day with prayer and asking God to give you a hunger for his word daily. Read one chapter a day and journal your thoughts and what God has revealed to you that day. Make it a habit to memorize a short passage. Pursue intimacy with Jesus and make it your priority.
Be in community. Serve in your local church & community. - by doing this you are being proactive and getting out of the house and cultivating a healthy godly lifestyle. Talk with other Christians and just get out there instead of staying home.
Cultivate godly habits. - Read books that encourages you to love and go deeper with God. Listen to songs that encourages you to fall in love more with Jesus. Whenever you’re at a store, coffeeshop, etc, ask for the Holy Spirit to give you opportunities to minister to people either through praying for them, encouraging them with simple words or buying them lunch or coffee. The pleasures that you get from these things are priceless.
i’ll close with this one. There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. You’ve probably failed in the past but I know deep down inside your heart you’re disappointed but you’re not close to giving up. There’s still a part of you that wants to strive for victory and there is coz God is working in your heart already as you read this. So even after you read this blog and still find yourself stumbling, get up and start all over again. Godliness and Holiness isn’t an overnight fix, it’s a lifetime and it’s a process. The last thing you want to do is give up. Don’t listen to the enemy, and grab onto Jesus right away. He loves you and will never give up on you. Ever. As long as you’re alive and breathing, you have a chance to change, and repent. His grace is sufficient for you are His child and He’s got his grip on you and will never let you go because He has called you to be a vessel and instrument to this perverse world. 
If you want to cultivate a lifestyle of walking in purity and holiness, then you need to abide in Jesus Christ. In John 15 Jesus talks about us abiding in him coz apart from him, we can’t bear any fruit. Apostle Paul talks about how God can’t be deceived, what we sow either in the Spirit or flesh, then that’s what we will reap. You can’t expect to bear fruits of the Spirit or come close to victory over porn, lust and masturbation if you’re daily sowing in the things of the flesh instead of the things of the Spirit. But If you abide in Christ, set and fill your minds with godly things, and ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with His presence everyday, I promise you, and it may even surprise you but the urge, desires and cravings of lust will slowly and eventually start to fade away because it will be replaced with the Fruits of the Spirit. We will bear the fruits of Christ and the fruits of godliness and holiness but that’s only possible if we abide in Christ daily. Look to Jesus, He is greater and powerful  than any of your present trials and struggles. 
Grace and Love in Christ,Mark Muldez.

Editor’s Note: I’ve received countless emails, messages and questions regarding about lust, porn and masturbation. I’ve had my tumblr since November of 2011 and I think it’s time that I write something about this very touchy and sensitive topic. What you’re about to read are things that I’ve learned in the past as I wrestled and struggled with this sin. These are things I’ve learned either from different people, from different books, and from God through His word and His Holy Spirit. I understand that every single guy and gal are on a different journey with this sin. So I’m not saying that what I  write on this entry is what you should do, rather the purpose of this blog entry is to encourage, empower, and enlighten others as to how to face this battle and come out victorious through Jesus Christ. My desire and prayer is that you would find encouragement, wisdom, knowledge and hope that there’s an answer and a solution. I can testify to that for I am a living testimony. There’s victory over this struggle and the answer lies in Jesus Christ and I pray that you would see that through this blog entry. Let’s get started shall we? :)

I was first exposed to porn when I was a little kid. I can’t remember exactly how old I was but I remember I was really young. How? It might’ve been when I was at my friends house and his parents weren’t home and we thought it was a good idea to mess around with his parents movie. I’m not sure how and where exactly I got my eyes exposed to porn but I was young. 

From that point I just started watching porn and it became a routine and I didn’t think it was wrong. I wasn’t a Christian either so I thought it was natural for guys to watch and masturbate. Little did I know that my foolish choices at that time was going to affect me when I became a Christian.

At the age of 15 I gave my life to Christ. I still remember coming home from that youth conference and just feeling so fired up! God now gave me new eyes, new mind, new heart and new life. I knew that any lustful activity just needs to stop because the bible tells me so and it’s wrong. I was on a good streak and I lasted at least 3-6 months of not watching, not doing. But something went wrong. All of a sudden the whole “I’m not suppose to do this because it’s wrong and the bible says it’s wrong” no longer held any weight or power to stop me from succumbing to a lustful heart and this is where my battle with lust started. 

I remember hearing a good message and thought to myself, “Man, that message was so convicting, God I will never do go back to those lustful things. I’m done.” Or meet with my accountability partner and have a long “prayer session” and after that I would feel good. Or set up all these rules of do’s and don’ts but at the end of all these things I’ve mentioned, I would end up doing the very same thing I hate doing. Can you relate to my story? I’m sure most of you can if not all. 

So what is wrong exactly? What is lust? And if you’re struggling with lust and any other forms of lustful activity how do you fight it? What do you do?

First you have to know that SEXDRIVE and Sexual Desire isn’t the problem nor the issue, LUST is. SEX isn’t the answer or the solution to your LUST problem, Jesus is. God created you and me with sexual desires and drives to be with someone. But the enemy twisted the truth about our sexuality through LustLust is craving sexually what God has forbidden.To Lust is to go beyond attraction, appreciation of beauty or a healthy desire for sex. It is very self-centered and selfish and it makes these desires more important than God.

I mentioned earlier that in the past I’ve failed spectacularly in the area of lust even though I heard a powerful message, or met with my partners or even got rid of ‘stuff’ I found myself going back to the same patterns. Why? mainly because I’ve held the wrong standard for holiness. The wrong source of power to chance. And the wrong motive for fighting sin. My ideas and thoughts about being holy was completely twisted. I thought If I don’t watch/look at porn or masturbate for certain amount of time I’m doing pretty good. I thought I can rely solely on my partners and I’ll be fine. And I thought setting down some strict legalistic rules will help me stay on my toes I was wrong.

But the main reason why we pursue holiness and choose to deny lust along with it’s other forms is because of this: God created us for so much more. He designed us to be satisfied with Him and to translate that satisfaction and pleasure to someone through sex in marriage. He isn’t withholding our sex drives by not watching or masturbating, rather He is saving us for a life filled with love, joy, peace and satisfaction. He is saving us for something so much better. Yes it’s not easy and it’s a fight and a sacrifice but in the end it’s worth it.

As Christians we need to remember that nothing that we can do or add to make us justified before Him, Christ did all the justification. Not watching porn, or masturbating isn’t gonna add up a ‘points’ to God, or make us more worthy, rather it’s sanctifying us and leading us towards a life of holiness and purity.

If we understand this truth about how we stand in Christ, all of a sudden our motives and hearts towards lust changes from “I’m not gonna do it coz it’s wrong” to “I’m not gonna do it because I don’t wanna break my Father’s heart.” That’s a huge difference. The other one is motivated by legalism and will power and the other one is motivated by love and grace. 

God’s standard of holiness is radical. Ephesians 5:3 says this:

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity.. because these are improper for God’s holy people.

God’s standard of holiness is this: Not even a hint! - That means if you struggle with lust then get rid any kind of triggering factors that encourages you to fall into that sin. If that means you need to get rid of your TV in your room, have your parents/spouse/friends create a password for your computer, throw away any provocative magazines that come to your mail, refrain from any movie that most likely have sensual sin, ANYTHING. Get rid of it, stay away from it, Not even a hint. 

So does that mean we can’t look at the opposite sex coz we fear of committing lust? No. Of course not. Truth is, it is not lust when we find someone to be so attractive, to have a strong desire for sex, to be excited about sex within marriage, to experience sexual temptation. It only becomes lust and sinful when we go past those things I’ve mentioned above. It is important to distinguish these things and to know what’s lust and what’s not. What’s natural and what’s sinful. it’s not about approaching your sin in a legalistic way, but instead it’s about being obedient to God and being good stewards of the life and the body He has given us. 

Now what, how do you exactly face and fight this battle? What do you and how do you prepare yourself when Satan comes at you prowling like a lion ready to deceive you? Identify any lust trigger factors. There are numbers of factors that can trigger you. And when you identify these factors it will help you better equip and prepare yourself.

  • Time of day- Is it at night, after work, when you’re tired etc.
  • Locations- could be alone in your room, friends house, etc.
  • TV- be responsible on what you feed your eyes.
  • Books/Newspapers/Magazines- Be radical about what your read.
  • Music- Be mindful about the songs you listen to.
  • Internet - this is obvious.
  • People/relationship- are you in a healthy & godly relationship or not?

Now that you have your list, pray and ask God to give you solid brothers/sisters to help you in this fight. People who would be genuine about your struggle and will faithfully strengthen and build you up. You can have all these lists but unless you genuinely repent from this sin and have strong hatred towards this sin and a strong and burning desire to be victorious in this area, nothing will happen. Unless you  seek friend and get someone to keep you accountable and really take action, you will only find yourself stumbling over and over again. You weren’t meant to fight your battles all by yourself. Jesus sent his disciples always in pairs that means we are meant to work with people and encourage others in our walk.

I have to say one thing though, accountability is great but you have to set your mind and heart on the right place with this. In the past I’m afraid to act on my sin because I don’t wanna disappoint my partner or I want to have a ‘good thing’ to say whenever we meet. This is a wrong mindset. Accountability isn’t meant for that. It’s about partnering, walking, and encouraging the other person not relying. At the end of the day you rely on Jesus’ grace & love and His Spirit to empower you and strengthen you daily. 

In my own experience and walk, here’s some really practical ways to develop and cultivate a godly lifestyle:

  • Spend time with God through prayer, reading His word and worship. - Pick a book in the bible. Start your day with prayer and asking God to give you a hunger for his word daily. Read one chapter a day and journal your thoughts and what God has revealed to you that day. Make it a habit to memorize a short passage. Pursue intimacy with Jesus and make it your priority.
  • Be in community. Serve in your local church & community. - by doing this you are being proactive and getting out of the house and cultivating a healthy godly lifestyle. Talk with other Christians and just get out there instead of staying home.
  • Cultivate godly habits. - Read books that encourages you to love and go deeper with God. Listen to songs that encourages you to fall in love more with Jesus. Whenever you’re at a store, coffeeshop, etc, ask for the Holy Spirit to give you opportunities to minister to people either through praying for them, encouraging them with simple words or buying them lunch or coffee. The pleasures that you get from these things are priceless.

i’ll close with this one. There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. You’ve probably failed in the past but I know deep down inside your heart you’re disappointed but you’re not close to giving up. There’s still a part of you that wants to strive for victory and there is coz God is working in your heart already as you read this. So even after you read this blog and still find yourself stumbling, get up and start all over again. Godliness and Holiness isn’t an overnight fix, it’s a lifetime and it’s a process. The last thing you want to do is give up. Don’t listen to the enemy, and grab onto Jesus right away. He loves you and will never give up on you. Ever. As long as you’re alive and breathing, you have a chance to change, and repent. His grace is sufficient for you are His child and He’s got his grip on you and will never let you go because He has called you to be a vessel and instrument to this perverse world. 

If you want to cultivate a lifestyle of walking in purity and holiness, then you need to abide in Jesus Christ. In John 15 Jesus talks about us abiding in him coz apart from him, we can’t bear any fruit. Apostle Paul talks about how God can’t be deceived, what we sow either in the Spirit or flesh, then that’s what we will reap. You can’t expect to bear fruits of the Spirit or come close to victory over porn, lust and masturbation if you’re daily sowing in the things of the flesh instead of the things of the Spirit. But If you abide in Christ, set and fill your minds with godly things, and ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with His presence everyday, I promise you, and it may even surprise you but the urge, desires and cravings of lust will slowly and eventually start to fade away because it will be replaced with the Fruits of the Spirit. We will bear the fruits of Christ and the fruits of godliness and holiness but that’s only possible if we abide in Christ daily. Look to Jesus, He is greater and powerful  than any of your present trials and struggles. 

Grace and Love in Christ,
Mark Muldez.

Source markmuldez


EDITORS NOTE: Majority of my followers here on tumblr are gals and I’ve received tons of questions from you all in regards to sex, love and relationships. Due to the fact that I don’t have time to answer, here’s a letter that I found from this website called (GoodWomenProject.com) I hope that this letter would bring an enormous encouragement to your heart and a hope for your future. I pray that you come to an understanding that in Christ there’s restoration, healing, redemption and freedom.To My Future Wife,
You’re beautiful. You’re stunning. You’re absolutely perfect in more ways than you know.
I know you’re out there; I know you’re living life just as I am mine. If not now, then someday you will read this letter and gain some insight into who I was before we married. That being said, it might be the only aspect of my life before we met to make you proud.
I say you won’t be proud because frankly I’m not proud either. My heart breaks knowing how I betrayed you with those other women. I regret every touch, every kiss, and every fake “I love you.” I was so consumed with lust that I had mistaken it for love, when you are the only woman I want to ever truly love. For everything, I want to apologize. 
Whether it was teenage drunkenness, images on a computer screen, or fantasies in my mind, I defiled the essence of who a woman was. I deliberately turned my back on my calling from God and chose immediate satisfaction. Satisfaction that withered as soon as my pants were back on; satisfaction that left a bowling ball-sized guilt in my chest. She was a physical means to a lustful end, and I had taken advantage of a sinful opportunity. I didn’t see her as a daughter of Christ, and I was becoming her future husband’s greatest enemy. I didn’t treat her body as a temple and took from her what only one man deserved. At the end of the day, my heart was broken for this woman and shattered for you.
If you were in the room, I can only imagine your reaction. You probably wouldn’t watch, you certainly would not want to. Youd probably feel betrayed, like I was cheating on you in front of your eyes. You’d probably be angry, ready to slap me and kick her out of the room for stealing my affection. You’d probably feel your heart being ripped from your body, dropped to the floor, and spat on. You’d probably cry out to God for mercy not to watch, forgiveness for me, and the strength to move on. You’d probably feel broken, expecting more than just an apology. It may never be enough, but it’s all I can say – I’m sorry.
I can see the tears knowing I took from you what only you deserve. You deserve a husband that honors you in his words, thoughts, and actions. I have not been that, and I have begged God for his forgiveness. As promised, he has forgiven me, and I hope you can forgive me, too.
This is a poem I wrote to you, titled What I Undeserve.

What I Undeserve
as i watch the sun rise and the weary sun set, it reminds me of your eyes all dressed in regret. not regretful of your past, but regretful of mine, knowing that it’s been all but divine.
He has chosen to forgive me long long ago, with a heart of compassion that i see you bestow. its one of many reasons i get lost in your soul, trying to save the heart you’ve inadvertently stole.
i can’t wait til the day i see your shining face all dressed in white at a methodical pace. walking toward me to begin our life as one, blessed by the Father, Spirit, and Son.

You are what I don’t deserve. God’s grace will bring us together when I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Yet I suppose it wouldn’t be grace if I did.
My prayer, at this present time, is that each day God is preparing my heart for you. Marriage is for life, so may what we’ll have last forever. I pray that Christ is not only your Lord, but that He is also your Savior, blessing you with the fruits of His Spirit. My worry is that if you’re in love with Him, then I will be such a disappointment. So I pray that each and everyday I will become less like myself and more like Christ, and that the fruits of His Spirit will also grow in me to naturally honor both Him and you, his daughter.
I know you’re not perfect either. I know you’ve made your mistakes too, perhaps with sins very similar to mine. If your heart is broken, I pray God will repair it. If you’re burdened from sin, I pray He will take away the guilt. Someday I want to look you in the eyes, forgiven, forgiving, and sharing with you a love the past cannot hinder.
I can’t wait to know you inside and out. I want to hear all your favorite stories, music, and movies. I can’t wait to meet your family and learn who you were before we met. I praise God for your beautiful soul and the blessings He will pour into my life through you. Someday we will share a life together. We’ll move on from the past, love every moment of the present, and gratefully await all the memories of the future.

“Sixty queens there may be, and eighty concubines, and virgins beyond number; but my dove, my perfect one, is unique.” Song of Songs 6:8-9.

Your Future Husband,JSP - (Good Women Project)

EDITORS NOTE: Majority of my followers here on tumblr are gals and I’ve received tons of questions from you all in regards to sex, love and relationships. Due to the fact that I don’t have time to answer, here’s a letter that I found from this website called (GoodWomenProject.com) I hope that this letter would bring an enormous encouragement to your heart and a hope for your future. I pray that you come to an understanding that in Christ there’s restoration, healing, redemption and freedom.

To My Future Wife,

You’re beautiful. You’re stunning. You’re absolutely perfect in more ways than you know.

I know you’re out there; I know you’re living life just as I am mine. If not now, then someday you will read this letter and gain some insight into who I was before we married. That being said, it might be the only aspect of my life before we met to make you proud.

I say you won’t be proud because frankly I’m not proud either. My heart breaks knowing how I betrayed you with those other women. I regret every touch, every kiss, and every fake “I love you.” I was so consumed with lust that I had mistaken it for love, when you are the only woman I want to ever truly love. For everything, I want to apologize.

Whether it was teenage drunkenness, images on a computer screen, or fantasies in my mind, I defiled the essence of who a woman was. I deliberately turned my back on my calling from God and chose immediate satisfaction. Satisfaction that withered as soon as my pants were back on; satisfaction that left a bowling ball-sized guilt in my chest. She was a physical means to a lustful end, and I had taken advantage of a sinful opportunity. I didn’t see her as a daughter of Christ, and I was becoming her future husband’s greatest enemy. I didn’t treat her body as a temple and took from her what only one man deserved. At the end of the day, my heart was broken for this woman and shattered for you.

If you were in the room, I can only imagine your reaction. You probably wouldn’t watch, you certainly would not want to. Youd probably feel betrayed, like I was cheating on you in front of your eyes. You’d probably be angry, ready to slap me and kick her out of the room for stealing my affection. You’d probably feel your heart being ripped from your body, dropped to the floor, and spat on. You’d probably cry out to God for mercy not to watch, forgiveness for me, and the strength to move on. You’d probably feel broken, expecting more than just an apology. It may never be enough, but it’s all I can say – I’m sorry.

I can see the tears knowing I took from you what only you deserve. You deserve a husband that honors you in his words, thoughts, and actions. I have not been that, and I have begged God for his forgiveness. As promised, he has forgiven me, and I hope you can forgive me, too.

This is a poem I wrote to you, titled What I Undeserve.

What I Undeserve

as i watch the sun rise and the weary sun set,
it reminds me of your eyes all dressed in regret.
not regretful of your past, but regretful of mine,
knowing that it’s been all but divine.

He has chosen to forgive me long long ago,
with a heart of compassion that i see you bestow.
its one of many reasons i get lost in your soul,
trying to save the heart you’ve inadvertently stole.

i can’t wait til the day i see your shining face
all dressed in white at a methodical pace.
walking toward me to begin our life as one,
blessed by the Father, Spirit, and Son.

You are what I don’t deserve. God’s grace will bring us together when I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Yet I suppose it wouldn’t be grace if I did.

My prayer, at this present time, is that each day God is preparing my heart for you. Marriage is for life, so may what we’ll have last forever. I pray that Christ is not only your Lord, but that He is also your Savior, blessing you with the fruits of His Spirit. My worry is that if you’re in love with Him, then I will be such a disappointment. So I pray that each and everyday I will become less like myself and more like Christ, and that the fruits of His Spirit will also grow in me to naturally honor both Him and you, his daughter.

I know you’re not perfect either. I know you’ve made your mistakes too, perhaps with sins very similar to mine. If your heart is broken, I pray God will repair it. If you’re burdened from sin, I pray He will take away the guilt. Someday I want to look you in the eyes, forgiven, forgiving, and sharing with you a love the past cannot hinder.

I can’t wait to know you inside and out. I want to hear all your favorite stories, music, and movies. I can’t wait to meet your family and learn who you were before we met. I praise God for your beautiful soul and the blessings He will pour into my life through you. Someday we will share a life together. We’ll move on from the past, love every moment of the present, and gratefully await all the memories of the future.

“Sixty queens there may be, and eighty concubines, and virgins beyond number; but my dove, my perfect one, is unique.” Song of Songs 6:8-9.

Your Future Husband,
JSP - (Good Women Project)


It’s sad but true. I had a chat with my co-worker who’s lesbian and I asked her what she think about Christians. She said 'Hypocrites.' I had to apologize right then and there and I even had to admit myself that I am too.
There was a recent study about the top 3 perceptions of Christians.
Anti-gay
Judgmental
Hypocritical
This is just so sad. I told my co-worker that God’s message is simple and it’s spelled in 4 words. L O V E 
God is love and if we are God’s people we are to love other people instead of being ANTI, JUDGMENTAL, or HYPOCRITICAL. I’m not saying that we should condone sin or any bad behaviors etc, but what I’m saying is that if you want someone to come to know Christ, then extend love and grace towards that person. Just remember all of us are sinners and we need a Savior. 
You’re right, I don’t have this all figured out but I’m reminded today that Jesus came to seek and save the lost, not the perfect so why do we sometimes act like we’re so perfect and all that and think we’re better than everyone else when we’re not?
Sorry for the rant. It was just on my heart tonight. I hope you hear me out on this one.
Grace and Love in Christ,Mark Muldez

It’s sad but true. I had a chat with my co-worker who’s lesbian and I asked her what she think about Christians. She said 'Hypocrites.' I had to apologize right then and there and I even had to admit myself that I am too.

There was a recent study about the top 3 perceptions of Christians.

  1. Anti-gay
  2. Judgmental
  3. Hypocritical

This is just so sad. I told my co-worker that God’s message is simple and it’s spelled in 4 words.

L O V E

God is love and if we are God’s people we are to love other people instead of being ANTI, JUDGMENTAL, or HYPOCRITICAL. I’m not saying that we should condone sin or any bad behaviors etc, but what I’m saying is that if you want someone to come to know Christ, then extend love and grace towards that person. Just remember all of us are sinners and we need a Savior. 

You’re right, I don’t have this all figured out but I’m reminded today that Jesus came to seek and save the lost, not the perfect so why do we sometimes act like we’re so perfect and all that and think we’re better than everyone else when we’re not?

Sorry for the rant. It was just on my heart tonight. I hope you hear me out on this one.

Grace and Love in Christ,
Mark Muldez

Source markmuldez


This is my dog tag that has been dangling in my car for years now. I got this back in 2007 when I came to the Lord Jesus Christ. I was reminded again by the Holy Spirit the Simplicity of the Gospel and at the same time the Power to CHANGE LIVES. It really is simple and people complicate it way too much.
God’s message is LOVE and He showed that through His son Jesus Christ when He died on the cross for YOU and ME. And rose from the grave 3 days later to prove that He is victorious over SIN and death therefore who ever put their faith in Christ will not only be victorious over sin and death but will have Eternal Life. Life everlasting.
First step is BELIEVE and put your faith in Christ.

If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be SAVED. - Romans 10:9

 Second step is FOLLOW His examples and abide in His word.

“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. - Luke 9:23

And any form of works or serving are done in faith and compelled by love because He first loved us. And Seriously this is the basic principle of Christianity. It really is that simple.
So If you’re a Christian and you heard/saw something different than this, I really suggest that you get a bible, read His word and wrestle with your ‘faith’ or seek a pastor/mentor.
If you’re not a Christian and you’re reading this and saying, ‘wait a minute, that’s Christianity? I saw/heard something different compare to what this guy is saying’ — Well whatever that is that you heard/saw from other ‘Christians’ if there’s one thing that I want you to know it’s this: 
There’s a God who created everything in this world and that includes YOU. The world that we are living now just didn’t POP out of nowhere. There’s a Creator. Just like your iPhone just didn’t POP randomly in your hand, APPLE created it. So if a phone has a creator, what more for the world? just think about that for a second.
He knows everything about you. Your struggles and success. Your pain and problems. And He wants to change that. He wants to have a relationship with you, walk with you, cry with you, fight with/for you, love you, take care of you, guide/lead you, fill you with joy, love and purpose…  by simply believing and putting your faith and trust in Jesus Christ. 
Would you like to do that? Just say a simple genuine prayer asking Him to forgive you from all your sins and surrendering your life and allowing Christ to take over your life. And that from this point on you will follow Him all the days of your life. — or if that’s too hard and complicated but you really wanna know more about this guy Jesus, message me and I will pray for you.In Christ, Mark M.P.S. - If you’re a Christian, re-blog and share the gospel.

This is my dog tag that has been dangling in my car for years now. I got this back in 2007 when I came to the Lord Jesus Christ. I was reminded again by the Holy Spirit the Simplicity of the Gospel and at the same time the Power to CHANGE LIVES. It really is simple and people complicate it way too much.

God’s message is LOVE and He showed that through His son Jesus Christ when He died on the cross for YOU and ME. And rose from the grave 3 days later to prove that He is victorious over SIN and death therefore who ever put their faith in Christ will not only be victorious over sin and death but will have Eternal Life. Life everlasting.

First step is BELIEVE and put your faith in Christ.

If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be SAVED. - Romans 10:9


Second
step is FOLLOW His examples and abide in His word.

“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. - Luke 9:23


And any form of works or serving are done in faith and compelled by love because He first loved us. And Seriously this is the basic principle of Christianity. It really is that simple.

So If you’re a Christian and you heard/saw something different than this, I really suggest that you get a bible, read His word and wrestle with your ‘faith’ or seek a pastor/mentor.

If you’re not a Christian and you’re reading this and saying, ‘wait a minute, that’s Christianity? I saw/heard something different compare to what this guy is saying’ — Well whatever that is that you heard/saw from other ‘Christians’ if there’s one thing that I want you to know it’s this:

There’s a God who created everything in this world and that includes YOU. The world that we are living now just didn’t POP out of nowhere. There’s a Creator. Just like your iPhone just didn’t POP randomly in your hand, APPLE created it. So if a phone has a creator, what more for the world? just think about that for a second.

He knows everything about you. Your struggles and success. Your pain and problems. And He wants to change that. He wants to have a relationship with you, walk with you, cry with you, fight with/for you, love you, take care of you, guide/lead you, fill you with joy, love and purpose…  by simply believing and putting your faith and trust in Jesus Christ.

Would you like to do that? Just say a simple genuine prayer asking Him to forgive you from all your sins and surrendering your life and allowing Christ to take over your life. And that from this point on you will follow Him all the days of your life. — or if that’s too hard and complicated but you really wanna know more about this guy Jesus, message me and I will pray for you.

In Christ,
Mark M.

P.S. - If you’re a Christian, re-blog and share the gospel.

Source markmuldez


God,

I don’t deserve an ounce or a fraction of all the things that You’ve given me and I am forever in awe of Your unfailing love and grateful of Your amazing grace. Truly You are more than enough for me.

Mark Muldez (markmuldez.tumblr.com)

Source markmuldez