Author’s Note: You can find this blog entry at this site called Sacred Radiance.
What if he finds out that I’m no longer a virgin? Would he still love me and pursue marriage with me? What if he finds out about my messy past and my struggles? Would he still look at me the same even though those things are behind me now?
The list goes on and on. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, these worries and questions are bound to come up.
First and foremost, let me just tell you: look for a man who loves and lives like Jesus.
In the Bible, Jesus shares love and grace with two seemingly unforgivable women.
The first story is about a woman who taken and brought to Jesus because the leaders in the town found her committing adultery and they wanted to stone her. Jesus tells whoever among them hasn’t sinned to throw the first stone at her. No one was sinless (except Christ Himself). And so, everyone dropped their stones and walked away. The story ends with Jesus extending grace, telling her that she should “go and sin no more”.
The second story is when Mary Magdalene learned that Jesus was invited by one of the Pharisees to have dinner. She invites herself to the occasion and brought her alabaster jar of perfume. With so much passion and love for Jesus though that she starts weeping at his feet. She used her own tears and hair to wash Jesus’ feet, and pours her perfume onto him as an out pour of her passion and love. The story ends with Jesus declaring that her sins are forgiven and that her faith has saved her.
We see in both of these stories just how much grace and mercy Jesus extended to these women. He saw brokenness over their sins, and he also saw two genuinely surrendered lives in exchange for forgiveness, restoration and new life.
He didn’t judge them or condemn them for their sins. Instead He extended love, grace, and forgiveness.
He accepted them for everything that they were. Their imperfections, their flaws, their mess and baggage. Jesus saw this and understood that they were created in His Father’s image. And so, He displayed an out pour of love.
My beloved sister in Christ, no matter what you’ve gone through and experienced in the past, please know this: You are forgiven, accepted, and loved by our Father. Your past doesn’t define your worth or value, but rather, you are defined by who you are now in Christ.
In 2 Corinthians, Paul says that once we have given our lives to Christ, we are new creations. That means God doesn’t see you as your old self but as a new person in Christ.
Whatever sins you have committed in the past are gone.
Forgotten by God.
You are made whole and pure in Christ.
These are truths that you need to remember and constantly remind yourself of when you’re struggling with issues of the past.
So here’s my point. With all that being said, I want to encourage you to wait for a man whose heart is after Jesus. Why?
Because he understands what it means to love someone unconditionally. No matter who you were in the past, they will only see you for who you are NOW in Christ.
He also understands what it means to extend love and grace every single day because neither of you are perfect nor without sin.
Your past doesn’t disqualify you from finding and marrying the man of your dreams.
If you have set your identity as a Daughter in Christ, be that woman. Learn to love God above all else. Learn to exemplify Christ-like character in every area of your life. Embrace holiness, purity, and godliness and make inward beauty your main priority.
I’m confident and I can promise you that as you strive to live a life like Christ, you will exude all of His characters and qualities. And truly, these are the things that will attract the man that your heart truly desires – the man God desires to bless His precious daughter with.
Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4
Grace and Love in Christ,